I set my alarm for 5:57 AM last night. I had every intention of waking up and going to a 6:25 AM workout class this morning. I woke up at 7:28 AM, sooo that didn’t happen.

I rolled over and felt the empty space where E usually lies. I was reminded that this was the week we’d been trying to prepare ourselves for. Some people roll there eyes, but between work trips and personal trips and lots going on, E and I have had little quality time together. We’ve tried to do our best to please our families and friends by making it to every event and occasion, but it’s exhausting. E handles it all much better than I do. But quite frankly, I miss my husband. I wonder why our family isn’t considered a family. I’m angered when it feels like you have to have children in order for people to understand that you’re a family, too.

I got on my computer to begin work for the day, but my company’s web-mail wouldn’t load. I kept getting an error message. I tried on my laptop thinking it could be my computer, but no luck there either.

I texted a couple of people who also work for the company in hopes that they could reassure me I wasn’t the only one unable to work today, but nobody replied.

I walked 20 minutes one way in the crisp, chilly air to return my already overdue library book, only to discover the doors were locked and they didn’t open for another hour.

That’s when I decided it was time for doughnuts. (And prayer.)

I’ve been disappointed by how few doughnut options there are in this city, so you can imagine my despair when the ONE doughnut shop I love, Doodle’s doughnuts, had a sign taped to the door saying they were closed permanently. You’ve got to be kidding me! I thought.

I wound up at Dunkin’ Donuts and got 1/2 a dozen. (Don’t worry, I don’t plan to eat my feelings in one sitting. Just maybe 3.)

Why am I sharing all of this?

Ultimately, because it feels good to sit and write about my morning gone wrong. It feels better than sitting and twiddling my thumbs wishing that the stupid web-mail would work.

I’m not usually a complainer. And even if I am in the mood to complain, I would never typically share it in this space that’s meant to encourage and uplift. But I know somebody else out there is having a bad Thursday, too. I know my rotten morning has NOTHING on somebody else’s. But I thought maybe we could pray together?

So if your morning has been a disaster or you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, this ones for you, too:

Jesus, help me. I need a restart for today. I know they teach you how to pray and that you’re supposed to start with praise and thanks, but I’m not feelin’ all that thankful right now. I’m irritated and annoyed and I know you’re probably the only way I can recover from this terrible ‘tude. I love you and I know you care. Thanks for caring about this petty stuff when you have bigger fish to fry. I feel so ungrateful of your grace a lot of the time, but that’s what makes it so special. Maybe things went wrong this morning because you were protecting me. Maybe you just wanted some more time with me. Well, you got it, God. Whatever else happens today, please help me to see it all through your eyes. I want to be awake to your presence and ready for opportunities only you can provide. Take my ‘tude, I’m handing it over to you. Fill me up with your love so that I can go out and fill up others. Forgive me for the cuss words and the eye rolls and the impatience and the parts of me that are so not like you. I want to be more like you. You are incredible. Amen.

Wow. The power of prayer is amazing. Sure, you might not feel better in an instant (although I sure do right now), but it’s a start.

Since I’m doing this post in real-time, why not throw out a few thank you’s and praises?! It certainly can’t hurt.

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E, I love you. Hope you’re having such a good time in Baltimore on business. Thanks for being an incredible husband who works hard for our family. 🙂

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Aaron Tredway, thanks for writing this book. (I’m doing a review and a giveaway SOON!)

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Also, (Aaron) thanks for taking me to this sweet doughnut shop in Cleveland.

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Also, (Aaron + Ginny) thanks for making such a CUTE baby! Noah bear has my heart.

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God, thanks for crisp, chilly fall weather and the most beautiful colors.

Miss Chic, thanks for creating affordable, modest, cozy sweater dresses WITH POCKETS. [MANDA20 will get you 20% off all regular priced items!]

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Soul City Church, I don’t even know where to begin. Thank you for making us feel at home from the first time we walked through your doors. Thank you for worshiping God unabashedly. Thank you for believing black lives matter and for putting females on your stage to preach. Thank you for opening up my eyes and my heart.

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Gold Coast, thank you for hosting the weekly Saturday Farmer’s Market on Division Street. Seeing people interacting rather than just walking by with their headphones in makes my heart swell.

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To our friends, Hannah and Brandon, thanks for spending a weekend with us enjoying French cuisine, not having to be entertained. You guys rock.

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Rachel, you are amazing. I love that we got to grab a quick breakfast together when you were passing through the city. Friends who reciprocate the effort the way you do are treasures.

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It’s not our most high-quality pic, but it’s the most recent and I love you girls to death. I love our loyalty to each other, our spontaneous hangouts, and the laughs we share. As you always say Kayc, “What a time to be alive.”


I’m going to whip up something for lunch now.

Have a great day and don’t forget to pause and pray.

XO,

Manda

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7 comments

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My Timehop today brought up, “Ah, the lethal combination of a people pleaser’s naturally guilty conscience and the marital responsibility of splitting up holidays. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Today, I am thankful that I still have my parents to schedule holidays with and in-laws that I love and want to schedule time with. I’m also grateful that husby and I agreed to boundary setting (ie, “No, we will NOT be at every single thing, for every single person, for every single holiday, for every single birthdy, forever and ever, amen.”)

Books, libraries, music, my best pals, my health, and the Cubbies round out my list today. Hope your afternoon improves!

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Trena,

That’s awesome! E and I love our parents and in-laws and enjoy time with them as well as our friends. We just have to work on boundaries and prioritizing OUR family. 🙂 We’ve reached out to a couple at our church to hopefully counsel us through it and mentor us long-term!

I bet you’re STOKED the Cubs won! E was disappointed since he’s a massive Tribe fan.

Thanks for the well-wishes. After praying and focusing on all of the reasons to be thankful, my spirits were lifted. Hope you have a great day yourself!

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My day seemed to start off on the same foot yours did. After a solid gym sesh, a big cup of coffee, and some worship music I feel 100x better! Thanks for sharing your heart and the honest struggles.

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Worship music never fails to help me, too! Glad your day is taking a turn for the better. “It can only go UP from here!” 🙂

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It’s really hard when you’re a people pleaser to say no to good things – time with family, friends, etc. One Thanksgiving we went three! places in one day, and then a fourth place that Saturday. We ended up being crabby and no good to anyone. Don’t wait for kids to set boundaries, and you do not have to specifically say why you can’t do something. Just say “no, that doesn’t work.” Overexplaining is one of my worst habits…I want everyone to understand. And the reality is, they don’t, and it’s ok.

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Angela, you basically described my life. Haha! Thanks for the advice and encouragement. I really appreciate it.

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I love this. I actually read through your prayer several times and it helped bring so much peace to my mind.It is so refreshing to hear someone, especially in the blogging world, be honest and share when things AREN’T perfect.

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