“Let her sleep, for when she wakes she will move mountains.” -Napoleon Bonaparte

I have this uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere at anytime. Seriously, I’ve been told it’s a gift. I’ve also been told I’m like a child. Whichever you prefer is fine by me.

One time I fell asleep in a local pub that my husband and our friends love to drag me to. No, I’m not kidding. Everyone was having a good time sipping on their craft beers and I, stuffed of Coca-cola (my biggest addiction) and onion rings, started to get sleepy around 11 PM. Not wanting my husband or our friends to have to leave that “early” as they would put it, I fought sleep. When I couldn’t fight it any longer, I could be found with my head on his shoulder just snoozing in the middle of this decently loud bar. To this day, they all give me a hard time for this particular evening.

Another time, I fell asleep at our friend’s house on the couch smack dab in the middle of conversation. This actually happened a lot during my college years and the people I roomed with would get so frustrated with me. I could be mid-sentence and suddenly the head goes back (sometimes the mouth wide open) and I’m out.

Just about every flight I’ve ever been on (and there’s been quite a few), I’ve zonked out before the flight’s even taken off. Yes, you read it correctly: before the wheels are up, I’m out.

Now, before you think, “I bet she’s narcoleptic!” I’ll set the record straight: I’m not. And I’m most certainly not even going to try and understand what that must be like.

As I write this, I’m currently en route to return home from Punta Cana by flight. I’ve just woken up from an over 2 hour nap. I feel fantastic. Refreshed. Before I forget, I have to recommend where mom and I stayed: The Westin Resort & Club. If you want a relaxing vacation and aren’t interested in much nightlife, this is your place.

I feel a little bit silly writing about my weird sleeping disposition, but I promise there’s a point to sharing my more-than-slightly embarrassing snooze rituals.

The reason I tend to fall asleep on the airplane is because I’m detached from the world. Everything is in airplane mode and I have very few choices other than rest. The reason I pass out amidst a group of people or in the middle of a loud environment is often times because I’m completely and utterly worn out. It’s beyond my control. My body and brain have a shut down mode and there’s a point where I simply cannot fight it any longer. Not that you don’t, but we’re all wired differently. I know plenty of people, like my husband, who can go for days on end with little sleep and little side effects. Nobody wants to be around me when I haven’t had a good 8 hours of solid sleep. Again, some of you are thinking she’s like a toddler.

I’m guilty of running myself into the ground. I’m guilty of whatever is truly the opposite of lazy. I work hard. I plan meticulously. I stretch myself thin, doing whatever it takes to meet my own little expectations. Then, I crash.

I have friends who tell me that they wish they could be half as productive as I am on a daily basis. I get where they’re coming from. They see me as a hardworking person who reaches goals and that’s awesome. But what they don’t see is the struggle I face internally and the desire I have deep within me to be OK with rest; not just to be OK, but to incorporate rest into my day to day routine. There has to be balance throughout my days, so that I don’t randomly crash.

It’s taken a long time to get to this place and I’m still on a journey, but maybe you are too. We don’t have to do life alone. We don’t have to hush our weird problems or hide behind excuses.

Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

I’m Manda and I’m a go-go-go busy bee who’s terrified of being labeled lazy or leaving the world without a trace of a legacy. I want to break-up with busy, drop the hustle, and be more like Jesus in the way he focused on being with people and loving them well. In order to do so, I have to be awake and well-rested. I’m continuing to do my “Just 5 Minutes a Day” challenge. Praying and believing that when I slow down I won’t miss so many opportunities to shine the love of Christ on someone else’s life.

Now it’s your turn! Try writing this out in your journal or even just in the notepad on your phone. 🙂 Don’t forget the date so you can check-up on how you’re doing in a few weeks, months, even a year from now…

I’m ________________ and I’m a ______________________________. I want to be more like Jesus in the way he _____________________________. In order to do so, I have to _________________________. Praying and believing that ___________________________.

Feel free to share in the comments below! I adore reading what’s on your heart and being able to pray with you even if we can’t meet in person just yet. 🙂

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Manda's weekly letters on faith, marriage, motherhood, soul care, social justice - and occasionally the collision of it all. 

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